Wednesday, 17 December 2014

Looking for Love But Coming Up Empty

I have been fortunate and blessed to have a very loving family, without which I would not be alive today.  But when it comes to finding love from someone that isn't a blood relative, it just doesn't happen for me.  I know that I'm certainly not the only one in this situation.  In my own city of Toronto alone, there are countless people just like me who are single and lonely.  What I find ironic is that it is supposedly much easier to find someone today than it ever was before.  There's online dating, telephone dating, speed dating, traditional matchmakers, professional matchmaking services, and even smartphone apps designed for single people looking for that special someone.  Yet in the industrialized world of today, people are staying single a lot longer than their parents did.  Now I understand that there are other factors at play here, especially socio-economic ones, but I would think that in a world where finding people with whom to have a relationship is so much easier than it ever was, it wouldn't be so difficult to find a significant other.

I myself have tried to find that special someone using the methods mentioned above, but with very little success.  So I remain single for what seems like an eternity.  I believe that luck has a lot to do with finding the right partner with whom you'll have a long-term relationship - one that may even lead to marriage.  And it's not like I haven't had any opportunities.  They've just been very few and far between - and I blew it on every occasion.  I'm still waiting for another opportunity to come around so that I can get it right for once.

To make matters worse, I'm not exactly a person who puts himself out there, simply because I just don't belong in any social setting.  For example, I hate parties.  In fact, I can't stand them.  I just don't know what to do with myself when I'm at one.  I feel like such an outcast.  How about the bar or cafe?  That's no better either.  For one thing, I don't drink anything with alcohol, or tea or coffee.  So what else is there?  Well, plenty of things - at least if you have plenty of interests, which I don't.  I actually have very few interests, and I'm not going to apologize for that.  My biggest interests are politics, hockey and dogs.  So why not get involved in politics here and maybe meet someone?  Because politics here in Canada is a sleep fest at best and a big, fat joke at worst.  And it's not like I haven't tried in the past.  Hell, I even joined a political party and went to a couple of meetings.  What a waste of time, not to mention the fact that ever since I became a party member, all they do is ask for my money.

That leaves my other two big interests, hockey and dogs.  I actually play on a hockey team with two female members.  Both of them are spoken for, however, and I was never attracted to either of them anyways.  There are, of course, plenty of women out there who like hockey.  The problem is that hockey is about the only thing we would have in common - very little on which to build a relationship.

So I'm left with my last major interest: dogs.  The dog park used to be my only social hangout, where I saw the same people almost every day.  Unfortunately, none of them were single females in my age bracket, and I eventually stopped going there anyways because my dog no longer enjoyed it, having gotten older and no longer interested in playing with other dogs.  I do work with people in groups dedicated to rescuing dogs, but I rarely meet them in person, and even when I do, there are no single ladies in my age bracket among them.

Hence, I'm in a situation where I can't really hope to find a relationship partner through the few interests that I have.  And in terms of expanding my interests?  Highly unlikely.  I'm not a person who can just spontaneously take an interest in something.  In fact, I can't remember being interested in anything new in the past fifteen years.

There is still one other avenue for finding a relationship partner that I haven't mentioned yet - trying to find someone through friends or family.  This is how many if not most people find their partners.  But no dice here either, I'm afraid.  You see, my family doesn't know anyone who would fit the bill, though it's not like they haven't tried.  And friends?  Well, the problem there is that over the past twenty years, I've had less friends than I do fingers on one hand.  In fact, the last person who I would have called my best friend no longer lives in this country.

If you're still reading this, I should congratulate you, because as you can tell, my love life is just a miserable sob story, so I should be grateful to you for taking the time to read about it, especially since I'm sure you could be doing something a lot more enjoyable right now.  I should also apologize if I have depressed you in any way.  Although this story of mine may seem very depressing, please let me assure you that there are billions of people around the world who would gladly trade their lives for mine - even if they knew that my life was often one of loneliness and longing for that special someone that will likely never come.    

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